two thousand six post thirty two
this past weekend jason, kim, kim and i embarked on a mission to find the most perfect Christmas trees on the planet(great cincinnati) for each of our palatial estates(suburban homes). one would think that this would be a fairly easy task to complete. one would be wrong. after perusing the local fish-wrap(enquirer rag of a newspaper), i found two locations that one could cut down a tree oneself for a reasonable fee. the first was in west chester(has no website) and the second was way out in goshen(has a website) which might as well be in california. the website/no website info will be valuable to our story shortly. being the lazy city dweller that i am, i figured the one in west chester is closer to me so therefore it's better. and here our story begins to unravel.
we drive clear out to wc(north of home) and when we near said "tree farm" we drive right by it. one might ask why we drove by it when we had the address and all. well upon a second pass we discover that this is not a tree farm at all, but some dudes house that grows "Christmas trees" in his BACKYARD. we pull into the driveway of said home and ring the doorbell(at the direction of a homemade sign), upon which an elderly woman answers the door and tells us the "tree farmer"(her husband) is in the backyard. we round the corner, b/c i had to see what this dude had going on in the backyard, and sure enough he has some "trees" back there. and by trees i mean oversized shrubs. these things had clearly never been trimmed or groomed in any way. they looked like what i have growing in front of my house only taller. i wouldn't have put one of these "trees" in a blind persons home. about half way out we decide to do the smart thing and turn around, go back to the truck and drive away.
from there we proceeded to a real tree farm in goshen(way east of home) and about an hour and a half later we got a tree(pictures to follow sometime). we did go to big boy for some much deserved dessert after the adventure. the moral of this little yarn i've spun is never ever trust anything you read in the enquirer, never try to buy a Christmas tree in west chester, and never go to a tree farm without a website of some sort. so the holiday season begins....
we drive clear out to wc(north of home) and when we near said "tree farm" we drive right by it. one might ask why we drove by it when we had the address and all. well upon a second pass we discover that this is not a tree farm at all, but some dudes house that grows "Christmas trees" in his BACKYARD. we pull into the driveway of said home and ring the doorbell(at the direction of a homemade sign), upon which an elderly woman answers the door and tells us the "tree farmer"(her husband) is in the backyard. we round the corner, b/c i had to see what this dude had going on in the backyard, and sure enough he has some "trees" back there. and by trees i mean oversized shrubs. these things had clearly never been trimmed or groomed in any way. they looked like what i have growing in front of my house only taller. i wouldn't have put one of these "trees" in a blind persons home. about half way out we decide to do the smart thing and turn around, go back to the truck and drive away.
from there we proceeded to a real tree farm in goshen(way east of home) and about an hour and a half later we got a tree(pictures to follow sometime). we did go to big boy for some much deserved dessert after the adventure. the moral of this little yarn i've spun is never ever trust anything you read in the enquirer, never try to buy a Christmas tree in west chester, and never go to a tree farm without a website of some sort. so the holiday season begins....
posted by Jared at 8:26 AM
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